I get that when you’re mentally exhausted, even reading a full page of text can feel like a lot of work—even if it holds the promise to help.
And anxiety, I get that, too.
I understand how it can sneak up when least expected or even stick around and drag you down like an ever-present anchor.
I get it because I experience all this, too. And it’s been my own need for real, accessible help that’s pushed me forward to find a way out: out of the feeling of helplessness, out of the frustration, out into better mental and emotional health.
I’m a former teacher, current mom and accidental writer. I’m also someone who struggles with stress and knows (all too well) the painful toll that everyday life can take on our hearts and lives.
In short, I wanted things to be better. I wanted to feel better. And that’s where it all began.
I am not a counselor, mental health professional or psychologist. I have no slew of letters behind my last name. Instead, I’m simply someone who decided that I wanted to live life better.
But all the help I reached out for seemed inaccessible. I (honestly) didn’t have time to devote to large, thick books. Any free time I had a small and valuable commodity. I saw numerous counselors, but that became difficult to squeeze in, too—and the cost became a financial burden. I contacted several support organizations specifically in regard to parenting a child with special needs. But sadly, any practical help or support they were able to extend all came woefully too late.
Rather than just give up—I couldn’t give up!—I decided to start designing the kind of tools, strategies and techniques I desperately needed. Life is hard. I don’t think help should be. And that’s exactly how The Feel Deal was born. It’s a place where you can find encouragement, ideas and tools to help you take better care of your most valuable resource: yourself.
So, welcome! Have a peek around. Get to know me. It’s my hope that you’ll find real encouragement and practical ideas to help you start living life better, too.
Finally, it hit me. I’d had enough. I desperately needed change. And I came to the hard conclusion that the only thing I can change is myself. This realization was both thrilling and utterly daunting all at the same time. Yikes.
I got tired of simply wishing for an easier life and instead decided to take inventory of what I could really change (and what I couldn’t) as well as what I could really affect.
I’m not gonna lie. This lead to many, many tears and more frustration than I originally bargained for. That’s because it revealed things as they really were—and that can be a pretty ugly thing to see.
The tears came as I admitted to all that I couldn’t change—no matter how much I may want to. I will always be the adult child of an alcoholic (living with all the consequences that that brings). I will always have psoriatic arthritis (no matter how much I may want a vacation from the doctor’s visits, medications and pain). I will always be a caregiver (at least to some degree) to our youngest son. His mountain of medical complexities, intellectual disability (low IQ) and physical limitations will never, ever go away.
And accepting things like these are tough pills to swallow. It hurts.
Then, frustration hit me flat in the face. The only thing I really could change, the only thing that I truly had control over, was me. To live life better I had to be better, I had to do better.
This process of self-change has not been easy. It still isn’t easy, but it’s getting better. I’m getting better. That’s because—like with anything else—this kind of change gets better with practice, too.
Self-Control, resiliency and emotional wellness doesn’t just happen. They have to be practiced. Too often, we fall into the trap of wishing for things to improve, wanting things to get better. But we waste precious time in the waiting for things that may never come. The truth is that sometimes things just suck, and it’s us who have to change.
So, I welcome you to “The Feel Deal.” It’s a place where we can all move from just waiting and wishing to starting (small) and doing (over and over again). It’s a place of authenticity where we can all face what really is because we also know we can change the most important thing of all: us.